Got to make a move...doubt is the rust of life...

On this day, God wants you to know...
... that doubt is the rust of life. Doubt holds you landlocked in paralysis unable to move either way. The time you spent doubting is the time you are not alive. So, rid yourself of the doubt, take that step one way or another, your heart knows what is best, but take it right now.

OH I AM SO THERE!!! Wasn't it almost two weeks ago that I said I was going to make the decision to try to work on my marriage??? So why did I take steps back to that fork in the road again??? I'm staring down both paths listening for my heart to tell me the way to go:

Path 1 - Stay
To stay, means to work on my marriage, forgive my husband, let go of the past, and move forward. Staying means I also have to accept the possibility that I could be cheated on again. I could get hurt again. It means I have to accept his faults along with the good. It also means I am giving my kids a chance at thier parents staying together. It means that the person that I have grown to love and trust (in some ways still) could remain in my life.

Path 2 - Go
To go, means to walk away from 15 years of marriage, forgive my husband, let go of the past, but move on alone. It means that I don't have the possibility of him cheating on me again. It means that he won't be the one that can hurt me in that way again. It means that I now have to live with his faults as an ex-husband. It means my kids will likely have step parents, step siblings at some point. It means the person that I have spent many years with will continue to be in my life, but in a different capacity.

So...now I have to listen to my heart and make a decision. The problem is that my head is telling me to just go, start over, find someone better, and there has been enough drama between us. My head is also telling me to give it a chance because I never really did. But my heart?????? Wow I am going to have to open it up and listen. I'm ready for it to speak loudly.